For someone with anxiety, vacations feel less like a break and more like an overwhelming disruption to me.
Unlike some of my ADD/ADHD spontaneous cohorts, I dig my heels into the dirt fast at the prospect of a vacation. Dropping everything for fun time doesn’t appeal to me. My thoughts turn quickly to the pain of planning and the ruminating vortex of the unknowns.
I’m just going to say it – relaxing is hard for me. If you, my friend, suffer from anxiety, you’re not alone if you find vacations unpleasant.
Table of Contents
- Planning Stinks
- My AI Prompts for Planning A Vacation
- The Unknowns of a Vacation
- Feeling of Desperation
- Matching Personality Type to Vacation Type
Planning Stinks
For years, the planning fell on me for the family vacation. This could quickly become a month-long, season-long event. I didn’t know it then, but I was hyper-focusing. My perfection required that this would be the best family trip ever (kind of a Clark Griswald thing).
Back in the day, I would rely on the good ‘ol Triple A Tour Guides. They would very nicely mark the “gems” of the trip. Heck, they would even create the route with attractions along the way, and highlight the maps with a highlighter and send them to you, too!
It blows my mind the pampering I received. In the age of the Internet, I can drill down even deeper. Visitor feedback on forums such as Reddit, Trip Advisor, and Youtube comments offer even more insider secrets.
It doesn’t end there, you have online blog moms who are happy to give you pro tips for traveling with kids. This is especially true for the mother-of-all vacations: Disneyland and Universal Orlando Resort.
That’s probably why people love the all-inclusive resorts. Whip out your credit card, pack a bikini, rely on the resorts itinerary for the duration of the stay. Jamaica, anyone?
Planning the route, researching attractions, finding great restaurants, planning activities for the kids in the car, packing snacks, packing clothes – even buying new clothes all takes TIME.
It’s hard for me to get past the idea of fun, when I’m stuck focusing on the planning part. I have to remember to adjust my expectations and to have compassion for myself.
I always thought it laughable to put in for “vacation time” at work. I would like to respectfully request a name change.
-Renee’s Rabbit Hole
If you dislike these necessary evils, too, here are a few ideas to relieve some of that stress:
- Limit overwhelming research – Too much planning can lead to information overload. Setting a time limit for research can help prevent that.
- Book in advance – Securing flights, accommodations, and activities ahead of time reduces last-minute uncertainty and guarantees availability.
- Make a checklist – Writing down everything you need helps ensure nothing gets forgotten. Break it into categories like packing, transportation, reservations, and emergency contacts.
- Packing – Don’t overpack, pack things for double use, focus on the essentials.
- Stick to familiar routines – Keeping some parts of daily life consistent (like morning coffee or meal times for kids) can create a sense of stability.
- Have a flexible itinerary – Structure is helpful, but leaving room for changes avoids frustration if plans don’t go perfectly.
- Plan downtime – Scheduling breaks during travel ensures there’s time to recharge. Feeling you have to maximize every minute of your time can lead to exhaustion.
- Be realistic about time – Overscheduling is a common issue. You will run out of steam by the end of the trip, if you don’tpace yourself.
- Use travel apps – Apps can help with navigation, budgeting, language translation, and keeping track of reservations in one place.
- Prepare for common worries – If certain concerns (like delays or unfamiliar locations) increase anxiety, having contingency plans can help ease stress.
- Pack familiar comforts – A favorite book, playlist, or even a small routine from home can help make new environments feel less overwhelming.
Being prepared make me feel sooo much better. But you have to roll with the punches.
On one of my first family vacations, my husband and I stopped at a McDonald’s for lunch. The conversation turned to what we packed for our toddler. We soon looked in horrer at each other when we realized neither of us grabbed his suitcase!
The older couple next to us overheard our frantic conversation and were laughing their heads off. I’m sure they had their own share of family vacation experiences they could relate to. Anyway, a trip to Walmart for a few outfits, and we were ready to go.
Letting go of the pressure to make everything perfect helps. My advice is to focus on the enjoyable parts of the trip, it can help shift anxious feelings toward excitement.
My AI Prompts for Planning A Vacation
It dawned on me that to skip the apps and platforms for planning, and to see what AI did, I grabbed Microsoft Co-pilot and entered this first prompt:
Itinerary AI prompt #1
Please come up with a suggested itinerary of a visit to New Ulm Minnesota with the following destinations in a logical order. Also include any website, hours, and days open.
- Schell’s Brewer
- Schell museum of brewing
- Kaiserhoff Restuaurant
- Kresling house
- Waraju Distillery Ruins
- Brown County Historical Society
- German Bohemian Monument
- Hermann Monument
- Grand Center for Art and Culture
- New Ulm Glockenspiel
- Minnesota Music Hall of Fame
- Flandrau State Park
- Hermann Heights Park
- Riverside History Park
Itinerary AI prompt #2
This created a beautiful 3-day itinerary, with hours/days open, but the links only said “website” so I then added this prompt:
“Can you repeat the list, but instead of clickable links, just give the full url.”
Job accomplished!
Itinerary AI prompt #3
I didn’t want to take the chance of missing an attraction I didn’t know about, so I added this direction:
“Are there any other attractions that would be good to visit not on my list?”
Copilot delivered some additional attractions, but failed to include the hours. I added:
“Great! Can you provide this last list with open hours?”
I now had the perfect list to print out for us to pick and choose for what worked best for us. This save me SO MUCH TIME! Having this tool will definitely remove the vacation planning dread I have.
FYI, I tried this altogether with another location “Make an itinerary with attractions and things to do in New Glarus, Wisconsin with full website url, hours, and days open.”
I did not get the full urls, even though I asked. I forgot to ask for places to eat, so added “How about recommended dining places in this area?”
Proceed with caution – AI will not kick out everything, and can miss neat attractions (I know because I compared it to a hand-picked list I researched). As I demontrated, you will likely have to refine your questions to narrow your results better.
Bonus: Online Itinerary Planners
Here are some great online itinerary planners to help you organize your vacation:
- Canva Itinerary Planner – Offers customizable templates for planning your trip in a visually appealing way.
- Wanderlog – A comprehensive travel planner that integrates maps, user-shared guides, and booking management.
- Triptile – Allows you to create a detailed itinerary, including activities, transportation, and accommodations.
Each of these tools caters to different planning styles, whether you prefer a structured itinerary or a more flexible approach.
The Unknowns of a Vacation
There are certain times when my brain likes structure and order – vacations would be one of those times. It really throws me into a tizzy to deal with summer road construction, traffic and navigating attractions.
Problems involve on-the-fly decision making. You know, executive function stuff my brain isn’t good at. I would say my partner is, but the additional stress of a vacation can make it more tense.
Phone skills are good to have in this situation. Many a skilled person can google themselves right out of a mess with a smart phone. I think this is where my ADD mind excels, because I miracuously think of a plan A, B, C. Knowing how to search is half the battle.
My search ideas would be different from my husband’s – well, I don’t think he would search at all. I’m not saying I like to be in that situation, but I can do it.
I have absolutely no sense of direction – but he does. That’s his superpower.
Vacations are good for you! Relaxing helps unloosen the mind for new thoughts to enter. Seeing new things can stimulate fresh ideas.
-Renee’s Rabbit Hole
Feeling of Desperation
When I say “desperation” I’m mostly talking about lost time. I feel that I’m always running short – it would be amazing to have more time for projects I have lined up.
Vacation time just isn’t on vacation, it’s the pre and post events. The planning eats into time I would rather be doing the real fun stuff (like this blog!). It can take a few days afterwards to clean up, put things away, and get back into a regular routine.
I’m like a little kid, wiggling impatiently, waiting for my parents to say, “OK, you can go ahead and play now.” To me, vacation feels like a burden, something I have to check off my list so I can get back to everyday life.
Of course, traveling with kids makes it harder. You’re on the clock, making sure their needs are met. I always thought it laughable to put in for “vacation time” at work. I would like to respectfully request a name change for that.
This isn’t a big reveal, my husband finds it hard, too. He thinks of all the things that are waiting for him when he gets home. We make quite a pair!
I always forget that vacations are good for you! Relaxing helps unloosen the mind for new, original thoughts to enter. Seeing something we haven’t seen before can stimulate new thinking and new ideas.
That is the best part of vacations for me, and probably the only reason I would go on them.
Matching Personality Type to Vacation Type
As I mentioned earlier, I didn’t like the planning stage because I found myself hyperfocusing on preparing for the trip.
If you have ADD/ADHD tendancies, there are other factors to consider. Overwhelm is one of them. There are lots of little places that scream for your vacation dollar with loud signs and flashing lights.
Oddly enough, some people with ADHD find vacations boring or unstimulating. They may even love their everyday work so much, that they find it hard to leave it.
If you’re an introvert, like me, dealing with family and friends you’re visiting can be draining.
In conclusion, it’s OK to have these unhappy feelings about vacation. You might be better off matching your personality/dispostion with a more agreeable vacation type.
Trust me, there are parts of vacation that are not so bad 🙂
