Talking to Yourself is a Good Thing

I have a favorite saying, “I’m talking to myself. It’s a private conversation.”

Talking to yourself is a good thing! I firmly believe everyone should do it. Many people do it without realizing—whether it’s mumbling under their breath, thinking out loud, or hyping themselves up before a big moment.

Talking to yourself can be a surprisingly effective way to boost self-awareness. When you verbalize your thoughts, it forces you to process them more deliberately, making it easier to recognize patterns, emotions, and underlying motivations.

Let’s go through the use-case scenarios.

Table of Contents

• Talking to yourself: anchoring
• Self-talk to process events
• Talk to yourself to think
• Talking to yourself for motivation
• Is talking to yourself bad?

Talking to yourself: anchoring

In another article, I talked about losing my thoughts when in transition, especially physically moving. Talking to yourself can help you to help you focus, be more mindful of the present.

Talking to yourself can be a great way to ground yourself, especially when life feels overwhelming or uncertain. Whether you need to physically anchor yourself (like in the example I gave), or mentally anchor yourself, here are ways to achieve it:

1. Affirm your presence – Say things like, “I am here. I am safe. I am in control.” This reminds you to focus on the present moment rather than getting lost in anxious thoughts.
2. Describe your surroundings – If you’re feeling unsteady, narrate what’s around you: “I see a chair. I hear birds outside. My feet are touching the floor.” This reconnects you to reality.
3. State what you know – When you feel uncertain, reaffirm truths: “I don’t have all the answers, but I do know that I can handle this.” Speaking facts can ground anxious spirals.
4. Focus on your breath – Combine self-talk with breathing: “Breathe in. Breathe out. Slow and steady.” Guiding yourself through breathwork enhances relaxation.
5. Remind yourself of your strengths – When doubt creeps in, affirm your resilience: “I have faced challenges before. I know how to adapt. I have the tools to move forward.”
6. Reframe negative thoughts – Instead of saying, “This is impossible” try “This is tough, but I’m capable of finding a solution.” How you frame your thoughts can shift your mindset.

Grounding self-talk is like a verbal anchor—it pulls you back to center when emotions or uncertainty start pushing you adrift. Have you ever tried something similar? It’s fascinating how simple words can reshape our perspective.

I’m talking to myself. It’s a private conversation.

-Renee’s Rabbit Hole

Self-talk to process events

Talking to yourself can actually be a great way to process thoughts, feelings, and events in your life. Saying things out loud can reveal what you’re really thinking, helping you untangle confusion and pinpoint what matters. Self-talk can clarify an otherwise murky situation.

Expressing your feelings vocally allows you to recognize and understand your emotions better, making it easier to manage stress, frustration, or excitement. Hearing your own words can make you pause and consider different perspectives, leading to deeper insight into your behaviors and choices.

Ever tried talking to yourself in a way that made you realize something important? It’s like being your own life coach!

Feeling weird talking to yourself? Direct your conversation to an object or your cat. It has the same benefits as talking to yourself.

-Renee’s Rabbit Hole

Talking to yourself can be a powerful way to process events, helping you make sense of emotions, gain perspective, and find clarity. This technique is also effective to get a hold of ruminating thoughts. Here’s how to do it effectively:

1. Describe what happened – Start by stating the facts: “This is what happened…” Avoid exaggeration or emotional coloring at first—just outline the event.
2. Identify your feelings – Name your emotions: “I feel frustrated because…” or “I’m relieved that…” Labeling emotions helps you acknowledge and understand them.
3. Use soothing language – Gentle, reassuring phrases like “I’ve been through tough times before, and I’m okay” can help regulate emotions and calm your mind.
4. Ask yourself questions – Challenge your thoughts: “Why did this affect me so much?” or “What does this event teach me?” Reflection deepens understanding.
5. Separate thoughts from reality – If your mind is spiraling, pause and say: “What’s fact, and what’s assumption?” Distinguishing between them prevents overthinking.
6. Reframe the event – Shift perspective: “This was hard, but what did I learn?” or “This felt overwhelming, but I handled it.” Reframing encourages resilience.
7. Express gratitude or acceptance – If applicable, recognize positives: “I’m grateful for the support I had” or “I accept that I can’t change what happened, but I can move forward.”
8. Speak to yourself with kindness – Instead of criticism, use constructive self-talk: “I did the best I could” or “Next time, I’ll handle it differently.” Treat yourself like you’d treat a friend.

Talking through events can create emotional distance, allowing you to step back and assess them objectively. Have you ever tried processing an experience this way? It can be surprisingly insightful.

Talk to yourself to think

You may have used this strategy before and was unaware of it. Like me writing this article turning thoughts over in my head. I continually talk to myself, rephrasing things, until a satisfactory article is achieved.

Self-talk helps organize ideas, reinforces learning, solve problems, and can make you more self-aware.

For ADD/ADHD people who struggle with decision-making, this tool can get you out of that indecisive hole. Talking through dilemmas helps weigh options and examine possible outcomes, making your decisions more intentional rather than reactive.

Talking to yourself can be a powerful tool for sharpening your thinking. Here’s how to make it work for you:

1. Verbalize your thought process – Speaking through problems out loud forces you to structure your reasoning. Say things like, “Okay, what’s the real issue here?” or “What are my options?”
2. Ask yourself questions – Challenge your thinking by asking, “What am I missing?” or “What’s the best way to approach this?” Self-inquiry encourages deeper analysis.
3. Use logical progressions – Try structured phrases like, “If X is true, then Y must follow” to help clarify complex ideas.
4. Break things down – When stuck, simplify it: “Step one is… then step two…” This makes difficult tasks more manageable.
5. Think in different perspectives – Say things like, “If I were advising a friend, what would I tell them?” or “What would someone with more experience do?”
6. Encourage yourself – Self-affirmations like, “I can figure this out” or “I’ve solved problems like this before” can boost confidence and reduce mental blocks.
7. Write and speak – If talking alone doesn’t help, write things down while speaking—this activates different parts of your brain, enhancing clarity.

When used thoughtfully, self-talk turns into a personal brainstorming session. Ever tried one of these methods before? It’s interesting how verbalizing thoughts makes things click!

Talking to yourself for motivation

Talking to yourself for motivation is like being your own personal coach—you can inspire, encourage, and push yourself forward with the right words.

Positive self-talk can improve confidence and reinforce self-acceptance. Encouraging yourself like you would a friend fosters a more supportive inner dialogue.

Over time, noticing recurring thoughts, patterns, and statements can highlight habits, fears, or desires, helping you understand yourself on a deeper level. I will add, that when “haters” hate on you, now is the time to tell yourself “I am worthy”.

Here’s how you can give yourself a dose of self-compassion effectively:

1. Use positive affirmations – Say things like “I can handle this” or “I have what it takes” to reinforce confidence and belief in yourself.
2. Speak in the second person – Instead of saying “I can do this,” try “You’ve got this!” Studies suggest addressing yourself as if you were advising a friend can boost motivation.
3. Encourage instead of criticize – If you’re struggling, avoid harsh self-talk like “I’m failing” and replace it with “I’m learning” or “This is tough, but I’ll figure it out.”
4. Set goals and remind yourself – Say your objectives out loud to reinforce direction, like “Let’s finish this one task before taking a break.”
5. Hype yourself up – Before an important task, give yourself a pep talk: “I’ve prepared for this, I know what to do, and I’m ready!”
6. Use physical cues – Saying things out loud with gestures—like clapping your hands or pumping your fist—can reinforce motivation and make it more impactful.
7. Make it routine – Daily self-talk, whether in the mirror, during a walk, or while working, builds a habit of motivation that sticks.

Ever tried hyping yourself up before a challenge? The way you talk to yourself matters—so make sure it’s empowering!

Is talking to yourself bad?

Of course, openly talking to yourself in the grocery store can be disturbing to the other custsomers. However, if the self-talk becomes distressing or interferes with daily life, it might be worth reflecting on why and seeing if there’s something deeper to address.

Overall, self-talk can be a powerful tool for motivation and clarity. In similar fashion, direct your conversation to an object or your cat. It has the same benefits as talking to yourself.

Do you find self-talk helps you with the points mentioned? Leave your comments below!