Practicing Kindness to Ourselves
“Be kind to yourself!” Good advice, but do we follow it? If you’re too hard on yourself, it’s time to take a step back.
Appreciating your efforts, strengths, and even the small accomplishments that often go unnoticed can take a lot of pressure off of yourself. What do you say – let’s give it a try!
Table of Contents
A dose of compassion
I guarantee after you do this activity, your load will feel lighter. For this demonstration, I will be using myself, plugging in a disappointment, and applying compassion.
To get started, think about a circumstance, project, job, or a time when you didn’t like how you handled something. Listen to the part of it that makes you feel “off” inside. Examine from an outside perspective, just like a close friend would.
It’s up to you to find the deeper meaning of it. Brainstorm alternative, more realistic viewpoints on disappointing outcomes. Acknowledge that mistakes and setbacks are natural parts of growth.
If you’re unable to do this on your own, reach out to a friend for help.
Unsuccessful website(s). Years of hard work have not turned my websites into a viable income source.
Compassion: With a full-time job, commute, community/church involvement, and raising a family, I couldn’t keep the momentum up to grow the websites to the point they needed to be. Figuring out the behind-the-scenes technology took an enormous amount of time – time that took away from content creation.
Ignoring website(s). I haven’t worked on my websites in a long time. I feel like a quitter.
Compassion: I had a string of bad luck that was out of my control. My website was stolen, leaving me emotionally devastated. It was the worst timing to regroup with a new website, due to the historic Google Apocolypse and the explosion of AI on the scene.
I had a major life event with my mother passing away, being her caregiver for 6 months prior. Settling her estate, working with family, taking care of loose ends while maintaining a full time job dried up my inner well.
Remaining at a job I don’t like. I am disappointed that I have not found an alternative income source to leave my current job; I have been employed with my job many more years than I thought I would be.
Compassion: This job has supplied a solid income for my family. It has the flexibility I need to still contribute to my family business as needed. I have generous amounts of vacation and sick leave. My employment is in a larger town where I would need to do errands anyway. I have grown professionally because I have been allowed to explore and learn on the job. The job is a good fit for the way my brain works. I am challenged everyday.
Current housing situation is in limbo. My family and I can’t figure out what to do with our aging house, despite consulting professionals and dedicating a large amount of our time to considering alternatives.
Compassion: Our challenges are very unique, most people would not be facing what we are facing. The decisions surrounding it are above the normal level of decisions.
Project has been put off. I’ve promised my family that I would deal with family photos. My self-imposed deadlines have come and gone, replaced with other shiny objects. I feel disappointed in myself and a failure that I have not followed through. I judged my mom harshly when she did the same.
Compassion: I wasn’t realistic about the time frame to finish this, and the span of the project. Finding time with a full-time job and other weekend demands was also not realistic. Feeling like a failure is magnified due to unprocessed childhood feelings with my mom not completing projects.
“If beating yourself up worked, it would’ve worked by now.”
-Megan Griffith, The Neurocuriosity Club
Learning to appreciate yourself
I hope that reading my take on the Dose of Compassion activity makes you rethink the pressure you are putting on yourself.
As Megan Griffith says on her Youtube channel The Neurocuriosity Club “If beating yourself up worked, it would’ve worked by now.”
There are so many ways to be kind to yourself, such as replacing self-criticsm with understanding and encouragement. Don’t compare yourself to others, this is your unique journey.
Here are some ideas to foster appreciation for yourself:
- Acknowledge Your Strengths: Reflect on qualities you admire about yourself, whether it’s resilience, kindness, creativity, or something else. Write them down as a reminder.
- Celebrate Your Wins: Take a moment to appreciate achievements, big or small, like completing a task, making someone smile, or even just showing up for yourself on a tough day.
- Keep a Gratitude Journal: Dedicate space to jot down things you’re grateful for about yourself—actions, traits, or decisions that make you proud.
- Practice Self-Affirmation: Say or write positive affirmations about yourself, like “I am capable,” “I am enough,” or “I am proud of how far I’ve come.”
- Be Grateful for Your Growth: Instead of focusing on where you think you should be, express gratitude for the progress you’ve made and the lessons you’ve learned.
- Treat Yourself Kindly: Show gratitude by doing something nice for yourself, whether it’s enjoying your favorite meal, taking a relaxing bath, or setting aside time for a hobby you love.
- Focus on What Makes You Unique: Appreciate the qualities that make you, you. Celebrate your quirks, preferences, and individuality as part of your gratitude practice.
Conclusion
This is definitely a time I want you to leave Renee’s Rabbit Hole feeling better about yourself. Sharing my own self-criticsm leaves me feeling naked, but it was important to convey that we all feel this way at one time or another.
Just don’t let this turn into a cycle of continuing disappointment in yourself – you’re too special for that! -Renee
