What’s keeping email off your schedule? Work? Life? Distractions? Or something deeper.
Checking your email can feel like a never-ending to-do list. But avoiding it can also mean missing out on important updates. If email avoidance has turned into a huge problem, you need to face it head on.
In this article, I am exploring the underlying reasons why we avoid email. For me, there is definitely something my brain doesn’t like about it. Let’s see if we can hack this together.
Table of Contents
Everyone has an email story
Email may not be a big thing for you. If you’re not employed, or running a business, your email could have a simpler purpose. For example, reading newsletters, keeping up with friends, and/or transactional email from online purchases. These types of emails are not so taxing on your mental resources.
For others, there is an emotional hurdle when it comes to dealing with the email pile up. Writing down your email story might help you to stand back and see the underlying blocks more clearly.
My email story
There are multiple email stories for me. There’s my work email, my personal email, my second personal email, and my entreprenurial email.
I’ve gotten better at my work email. I stopped making excessive folders (and now rely on searching to retrieve). The email is kept for 4 years, and I delete a full year at a time. Important emails, like welcome emails (emails with access information) are printed to “PDF” and saved on my local computer which is backed up to Carbonite. Invoices are also saved to my local computer.
My 40-hour-a-week job gives me the structure to actively manage my email, not avoid it. I check it in the morning, but leave alert sounds off so it doesn’t pull me back in. I then check throughout the day after I complete tasks – good for me!
The scary part of my story
My anxiety heightens (in my personal/entreprenurial email) when I see an alert, an automatic subscription renewal for something I should have canceled, and otherwise general overwhelm. I fear when I see a potential project, and I know I can’t trust myself to stop from going down a rabbit hole.
I feel the pit in my stomach of procrastination. I can’t seem to stop my brain from “fixing” and creating more spin-off to-do lists because of it.
The worst one? The emails that remind me I have been ignoring my websites and failing at my dream. I know, that’s a little harsh, but I think we need to bring to the surface those underlying feelings.
Ultimately, my brain wants to do something more fun, and this isn’t it. The funny thing, I’ve been putting off writing this article because I felt stuck on the topic. Writing my true thoughts out have been more meaningful than I realized.
What’s your scary story? Spending time with it might reveal some surprising revelations.
Email: Ultimately, my brain wants to do something more fun, and this isn’t it.
-Renee’s Rabbit Hole
Emotional reasons why you avoid email
Emotions play a huge role in email avoidance! I’ve already named a few, here are more:
- Anxiety – Fear of bad news, difficult conversations, or unexpected tasks can make emails feel stressful.
- Expectations & Pressure – Some feel the need to respond immediately, making emails feel like a never-ending obligation. Unanswered messages or overdue replies might lead to avoidance, even if the sender isn’t upset.
- Overwhelm – A crowded inbox can create a sense of helplessness, making it easier to ignore than deal with.
- Burnout – If life feels exhausting, even simple tasks like emails can feel like too much.
- Frustration – Constant spam, useless messages, or work demands might make email feel more like a burden than a tool.
- Avoidance of conflict – Emails that contain uncomfortable discussions or unresolved issues can be tough to face.
- Procrastination – A “I’ll check it later” mindset can quickly turn into a habit, especially if emails seem demanding.
- Perfectionism – The pressure to craft the perfect response can lead to delaying replies or avoiding emails altogether, but now AI can do that for you. By the way, there’s no such thing as the “zero inbox” – another perfection casualty.
- Unread Count Guilt – Seeing a huge number of unread emails is enough to make anyone want to ignore them altogether.
- Difficult Organization – Without good filters or folders, important emails get buried in the mess.
- Email fatigue – Sorting through messages takes energy, and sometimes there’s just not enough left for it.
Do any of these resonate with you? All of them can be emotionally exhausting, contributing to the Great Email Stall.
Getting over the fear of email
Let’s address a few strategies to get back into your email. Some are very common sense – you might have heard them before.
Baby steps
Start tiny—Just open the inbox without reading anything. Then, read only one email. No pressure—just small steps.
I love this tip because I know myself. I let my email go for so long, it piles up. Then I put the pressure on myself to process it in the world’s biggest check email session. We already know that finding time is a problem, and then we sabotage our success.
How about only the current day’s emails? Find the sweet spot that gets you back in the email game.
Reframing the task can help—seeing email as a quick mission rather than a chore, like scanning for only the most relevant ones and ignoring the rest. Using filters can help remove the overwhelm.
If replying to emails is your bottle neck, more email programs are including the power of AI to form quick and well-formed responses. If you have a habit of writing novel every time you respond, now is the time to change that (that would be me!).
I had an old boss that always told me, “bullet points, Renee!”. Think of how the person on the other end consumes your email (or avoids it because they dread reading a long email). That might just make the Aztec Hole difference for you.
Gratitude
One of them is to change the narrative. Instead of dreading emails, frame them as opportunities—maybe a surprise or good news is waiting, or a chance to cross something off your list.
Someone once shared with me a strategy of telling themselves, “I GET to do this”. Think about it. The words turn the action into being grateful. Some peoplel think of their health, their family, their financial stability. Whatever it takes for you to shift your perspective.
Take is a step further, and turn it into a ‘check-in’ moment – combine email time with a daily journal or gratitude list to make it feel more intentional.
Inspiration
I came up with this idea on my own. People have motivational posters all the time. What about a motivational email poster?
Grab a photo of your public figure/icon of choice and turn it into a mini-poster for inspiration. You could frame it and put it by your desk. Or do what I do – I physically set it out when it’s email time. This sets the stage for a “you and me” email session”.
Use a body double and support of others
In the book “Conquering Chronic Disorganization” author Judith Kolberg presents novel life hacks to overcoming many facets of life. She includes a chapter on body doubling.
The concept of using a body double is when someone else is working, you will, too. This highly effective brain hack can ovecome resistance through apps, in-person work buddies, and virtual “co-working” situations just for this purpose.
It really gets you in the zone, if that is a major challenge for you.
Don’t overlook the support of a good friend. Personally, I expect that there will be relapses – life is not a straight path! An undertstanding friend, even an online forum, can offer support. It has nothing to do with checking your email, it is entirely and emotional solution that you might need.
Making email a more pleasant task
This idea is mind blowing: check your emaill only at happy moments – Tie email time to something you enjoy, like sipping coffee while relaxed in the morning, having a treat, or during a peaceful break. Anyone have a wine break after work (no wine on the job, folks!)?
Consider pairing it with a relaxed time, like listening to music or while watching tv at night.
Don’t forget rewards! Take a stretch or break, like a nice walk outside immediately afterwards. You can also “gamify” your email, setting up a timer with a defined limit.
Psychologically, it could be the physical environment your brain doesn’t like. Laptops are portable! Go outside, sit in the sun. Maybe you prefer the cozy corner of a coffee shop.
Did you ever consider setting up a virtual epic environment while email checking? With super-size TVs, anyone can turn on a cinematic Youtube scenery video like this one:
The time factor
Part of avoiding email is not making time for it. That sounds overly simple, but true. In my article, “Use Procrastination in Your Favor” I talk about how how poor time management leads to more procrastination.
That’s why it’s critical to understand where your time is going to by tracking it. Once you have that under control, you won’t be so blindsided by the mysterious disappearance of your time. It’s very empowering – try it!
Finding time for email can be tricky, especially if your day is packed with other priorities. One approach is to treat it like a scheduled task—set aside a specific time, even just 10–15 minutes, to check and clear the inbox. Checking just once in the morning and once in the afternoon can alleviate the feel of it as a constant chore.
Life gets busy, and email often takes a back seat. Here are some common reasons why people struggle to find time for it:
- Packed schedule – Work, family, errands, hobbies—email doesn’t always feel like a priority.
- Too many distractions – Social media, texts, or unexpected interruptions can pull focus away.
- Lack of boundaries – family or work doesn’t respect the time and space you need to sit down and process emails.
- No set routine – Without a specific time dedicated to checking emails, it easily gets overlooked.
Is one of these the culprit for you? Sitting down and examining the time crunch can be useful. The key to finding time could also be making it fit naturally into your routine instead of forcing it. The good thing, fixing a time time zapper is in your control.
Conclusion
I hope that you’ve found some solutions for outsmarting your hesitation! Remember, email avoidance is not always due to one culprit. And it can be a collection of solutions that get you over the mental block.
This was an important article for me to write. For me, personally, I foresee that there will be relapses. I want to offer hope and support. The last thing I didn’t mention was finding the sup
You might be interested in a free work sheet (soon to be out) about examining your email habits. Until then, hang in there!
