DO YOU LIKE YOURSELF? Do you hate the way your brain is wired? There are times I wish I could get away from myself and I can’t. I’m not completely oblivious. I pick up on the social cues when my personality/brain starts to annoy those around me, too.
Are you disappointed in yourself? I’m not thrilled about my lack of successful projects or follow through. I get the broken record award, claiming to my family, “I think I have it this time!” and them rolling their eyes.
My delivery style may be a little blunt at times. It is in no way intended to be rude – my brain is focused on the thought, not the delivery. The result is people taking the message the wrong way.
Your family and loved ones have patience – to an extent. Even when they understand your brain, they will have a day they snap at you or even poke fun at you.
Table of Contents
- Peer Socialization and Wrong Moves
- Internalized Stigmas Could be Bringing You Down
- Del Griffith, a Lesson of Self-Love
- Self-talk: the Ultimate Pick-Me-Up
- Make Your Own Sunshine
Peer Socialization and Wrong Moves
I remember learning about peer socialization in college. Peer socialization is the process by which individuals, especially during childhood and adolescence, learn social skills, norms, and behaviors through interactions with their peers, shaping their attitudes, values, and behaviors. In other words, they bend to societal expectations.
If you’re a talker, you might get the signal when others avoid you, that means you talk too much and need to reel in it a little.
In a way, it’s a good thing, it keeps us on our side of the road. In a bad way, it stifles the unique beauty of what we have to offer to the world.
If you really want to pay it forward, say something nice to somebody today. While you’re at it, say something nice to yourself, too!
–ReneesRabbitHole
Internalized Stigmas Could be Bringing You Down
For many people with ADHD, the external stigma—things like judgment from others or misconceptions about the condition—is tough. But the internalized stigma? That’s a whole different battle.
Growing up hearing phrases like “You just need to try harder” or “Why can’t you be more organized?” can lead to feelings of self-doubt, guilt, and even shame. And sure, maybe they mean well, but those words sting. They make us feel like we’re failing at something that isn’t even a choice.
Many ADHDers end up masking—hiding their symptoms, pushing themselves to fit into neurotypical expectations, and exhausting themselves just to appear “normal.”
This constant cycle isn’t just harmful—it’s unsustainable.
The truth? ADHD isn’t a lack of effort. It’s a different way of experiencing the world. It’s the whirlwind of thoughts, the hyperfocus that turns into brilliance, the creativity that refuses to be boxed in. It’s forgetting where you put your keys but remembering the most obscure fact from a documentary you watched five years ago. It’s you, in all your beautifully chaotic glory.
Del Griffith, a Lesson of Self-Love
Do you remember the scene in “Planes, Trains and Automobiles” when Steve Martin’s character Neal Page rips into John Candy’s character Del Griffith? In a tirade of frustration, Neal plugs into Del, telling him what a worthless and annoying person he is. Del stands up for himself with the powerful words “I like me and my wife likes me.”
*Sniffle* That scene gets me everytime. Is it the fact that everyone at some time in their life gets their feelings hurt? Or is it due to the unique personality of Del is the targeted focus of Neal’s frustration?
Honestly, it’s the latter that calls to me. It’s a double-whammy when your feelings are hurt besides.
“I like me and my wife likes me.”
-Del Griffith | Planes, Trains, and Automobiles
Self-talk: the Ultimate Pick-Me-Up
I’m not going to lie, there are a lot of private conversations that go on between me and myself. Some of them get vocal.
Sure, it would be wonderful to hear praise when I do good, to have someone take notice, even a pat on the back. As hokey as it might seem, speaking with force to yourself that “you’re amazing!” “I can’t believe I did that” “Wow, you’re great!” is a concrete answer to this confidence sucker.
Make Your Own Sunshine
In a particular poopy job (pardon my frankness), despite my giving generously of my help and support, there was no “help and support” in reciprocity.
Getting a thank you was sparse. Now don’t cry, but this is what I have resorted to: I “collect” compliments and nice words pointed in my direction. No, it doesn’t have to generate from within the internal office, because the truth is, it just wouldn’t come.
I include everyone I interact with on a day-to-day. I really like the telephone people, they have been so pleasant to me…
But I am getting sidetracked. It’s a handful, a handful of nice words for almost twenty years of service with a smile. We all can’t work for Zig Ziglar (I hear it’s pretty amazing and uplifting!).
My point is, Del Griffith made his own sunshine. He didn’t let anyone get him down.
If you really want to pay it forward, say something nice to somebody today. Give them a compliment, point out something nice they have done that you are grateful for. You might be part of the little handful of compliments they will ever receive in their life. While you’re at it, say something nice to yourself, too!
