Desperation… The Panic of Lost Time, Dreams & Goals
Today I am going to talk about something near and dear to my heart: desperation. Well, not so dear to me, but certainly close all the time.
I feel this almost daily, the panic of losing my time. The bigger impact is the dreams and goals that are not being reached.
I’d like to spend a little time with this, and how the underlying feelings affect all of us.
Table of Contents
- Time, Never Enough!
- Being Desperate Costs Money
- Centering Pays Off
- Gratitude Can Paint a Rosier Picture
- Sometimes We Need to Shift
- Finally, Dream.
Time, Never Enough!
A common theme among many ADD/ADHD brains is lack of time management. This goes hand-in-hand with racing down rabbit holes, and our unstoppable pull to shiny objects.
Yeah, I don’t like that very much about myself. I saw it in my mother, and now myself.
I’ve made incredible progress with getting my act together. I use sticky notes to run a well-oiled homefront, I can actually find things in my purse, I have my favorite zone music locked and loaded. I’ve even generated doing more in less time hacks.
Still, I feel so out-of-control. When I feel this way, I make decisions out of a place of anxiety, instead of calm.
What I really needed was looking at the root of what was holding me back: the way my brain was wired and my response to it.
-Renee’s Rabbit Hole
Being Desperate Costs Money
I am a self-proclaimed tightwad, the frugal frau. If there is a DIY option, I’m all over it. The concept of actually paying for courses to learn faster isn’t my thing.
But finally, I broke down. I figured that I had to invest money in myself to get my creator business off to the ground. There is a wee bit pain of regret in the little benefit received; the canceled subscriptions left my pocketbook more bare and sad.
That’s what desperation does, if you can’t find answers, you pay gurus. What I really needed was looking at the root of what was holding me back: the way my brain was wired and my response to it.
Centering Pays Off
Morning centering techniques can set the tone for the rest of the day. Prayer, yoga, meditation, walking, exercise, or watching inspiring videos can help. The problem is, us ADD/ADHD types are SO bad at self-discipline.
I know all of the arguments, if you take time for this, there will be no time for fun. The turtle and the hare fable could really be put to good use here. In the story, even though the turtle was slow and the hare fast, the hare became detoured with a nap (AKA shiny objects). The turtle kept up his steady pace and beat the hare across the finish line.
Centering pays off, you just have to make the time for it. Here are ways to do that:
- take a 5 minute stretch in the morning.
- review your one guiding sentence or two that filters out all the other noise in your life, such as a main goal.
- expand the sentence to a grounding paragraph for the more challenging days.
- establish a morning routine, such as enjoying one cup of coffee before starting anything else.
- repeat the same task every morning, such as making your bed.
As said before, when feeling desperate, you make decisions out of a place of anxiety, instead of calm. Stopping the spiral of desperation starts with
Even though the turtle was slow and the hare fast, the hare became detoured with a nap (AKA shiny objects).
-Renee’s Rabbit Hole
My Morning Light
I wrote this for myself and it really does help me in the mornings (or anytime I need to calm down). These are my centering statements. Feel free to borrow what you like to get you started.
- I am grounded and centered
- I am capable
- I am where I need to be
- I know what I am doing
- I am different than other people
- I am a special person
- I have incredible ideas
- I have something to contribute to the world
Gratitude Can Paint a Rosier Picture
How soon we forget what we have accomplished. Here we are, running around in a mad rush, depressed we are not getting stuff done.
Sometimes it’s a good friend who can point this out to us, when we can’t ourselves. I would like to say something along the lines, “that’s why gratitude is a billion dollar industry!” but I don’t have the facts on that.
All I know is that keeping a gratitude journal is highly effective when we get down on ourselves.
I don’t know how Olympic athletes do it. They train for years with no guarantee of a win. I do know that they invest a great deal of time in mind over matter.
Sometimes We Need to Shift
In my article “Why Some Dreams Should Not be Pursued” the argument comes up that it might be to our benefit to drop the dream.
I feel that the “epic dream” dialogue has been pumped too much into our brains too much. Mantras like “Never Give Up On Your Dream!” may have been pushed too hard (as witnessed by the snarky de-motivational posters).Think about it – when young kids internalize that message, their young dreams likely won’t align with their adult dreams.
Feels like a setup for failure.
Instead, I like the message better of self-acceptance and to be kind to yourself (those thoughts have already brought my blood pressure down).
Finally, Dream.
Pause and imagine what a day would look like that you weren’t judging yourself. That you actually experienced pride in what you were doing. There is a goal, but you are kind to yourself. Let go of the feelings of incompetence and your unrealistic pace towards it.
Who set your deadline? You will get there when you get there. And you will get there wiser, full of new discoveries, and maybe even more relaxed.
LIFE is too short to be in this constant state of chaos. LOVE yourself, your superpowers, and the neat things that future you have in store.
#inthistogether -Renee
