How did I get myself into this mess? *palm slap to the forehead*
Another project, another tipping point – I was in too deep. As typical, it was a firecracker start and a gradual fizzle out. Ugh! I dislike that about myself.
I feel like the slow learner at life. You would think by now I could discern between a worthwhile project and a time sucker. I guess not.
Related: The Graveyard of Unfinished Projects: When Our Family Ditches Us.”
Table of Contents
How Do We Get Derailed?
Misguided enthusiasm aptly describes me. I suspect that it is a very ADD/ADHD thing. It’s ticking the box “sees the possibilities in everything.” Let’s throw in shiny objects, the drug of choice for many, pulling us into the fun of new adventures.
According to Understood.org, ADHD people are less likely to have an inner critic that silences their flow of ideas. They attribute this to a lack of inner inhibition – the ability to have self-awareness and restraint.
In other words, our internal regulator is broken. Much of society has admired those who lack inhibition – often equated with a romantic freedom. It means someone isn’t holding back or being hesitant due to fear, embarrassment, or self-doubt. They are willing to express themselves fully and act naturally without concern for potential negative consequences.
In addition, persons with ADD/ADHD are emotionally sensitive. Fear of rejection or criticism may prevent them from seeking opinions that could help with running down rabbit holes.
For us, it ends up being too many projects started that don’t get finished. How can we get our brain train back on track again? Let’s explore.
Reflect, Regulate, Redirect
Misguided enthusiasm can be tricky to navigate, whether it’s your own or someone else’s. Here are a few ways to approach it:
- Pause and Reflect – If it’s your own enthusiasm that might be misplaced, take a step back and reassess. Are you chasing excitement without considering practical challenges? Do a reality check before committing further.
- Gently Redirect – If someone else is overly enthusiastic about something that might not be beneficial, don’t crush their spirit, but try nudging them toward a more constructive perspective. Ask questions that encourage deeper thinking: “Have you considered…?” or “What’s the long-term impact?”
- Find the Positive Angle – Sometimes misguided enthusiasm comes from a good place. Instead of shutting it down entirely, see if there’s a way to channel that energy into something more productive.
- Balance with Logic – Enthusiasm is great, but pairing it with logic leads to the best outcomes. Gather facts, weigh pros and cons, and determine if the excitement is warranted.
When in misguided territory, I’m often in my head, not getting other perspectives.
-Renee’s Rabbit Hole
Putting Logic Into Practice
Starting a project with gusto is a great way to start! Knowing when to pause before jumping in is crucial. It could very well be the key to preventing regrets.
The fact that I’m a one-woman show, working solo, making decisions on my own can pose a problem. When in misguided territory, I’m often in my head, not getting other perspectives.
You know a secret? I don’t really want other people’s point of view. I want to do what I want to do. That sounds like a bad character trait, I admit. Honestly, there is such a personal enjoyment in making choices on my own, I don’t want to give that up or be judged for my choices.
As Barbara Sher pointed out in her many books, sometimes the journey, the chase, is what we desire and it’s OK not to make it to the end. It’s really important to consider that. Ms. Sher is the first person I’ve ever heard vocalize that.
She was a big proponent of being kind to ourselves. What did you think when you first started reading this, did you feel shame? Me, too.
Coming from the kindness category, how often do you regret a project you started? Looking back, it’s not the offensive number I thought. It just might be OK to give myself a pass on this one.
Another way to look at it is what I learned from the project – I always learn something. Absorbing new knowledge is great entertainment for ADD/ADHD folk. If that applies to you, be even kinder to yourself. That is the way your brain is built.
Conclusion
Being a quitter is not as bad as it sounds. Understand when you’re in a project for the sheer joy of it. But most of all, enjoy yourself!
