Aging & ADD/ADHD – the Best is Yet to Come
I was horrified to look into the mirror, realizing I had the neck of a turtle. No – not a turtle neck, but the wrinkly, pruney neck of a very OLD person.
“When did this happen?” I gasped. “Crap!” were the next words out of my mouth. I had my child’s wedding in a few short months. Why couldn’t they have gotten married last year? I was looking good then!
FYI, don’t miss my article on simplifying your makeup and bathoom routines! In it, I share exactly what I do for my aging skin.
Table of Contents
Nobody escapes aging
I thought that I would have always accepted aging gracefully (when it came), assuming it would be gradual. I recall the words of my sister-in-law: the warranty on our bodies runs out at around age 50, and then everything seems to give out.
Aging appears to be a throw of the dice, a surprise waiting for us. It’s like the Grammy’s when the announcer opens up the winner’s envelope, pausing for effect. Who’s genetics will be kind to them, and which one of us is getting the short end of the stick?
I’ve been blessed with thin body genetics, but menopause fat still found me. I’ve managed to eat fairly healthy, despite the roller coaster of science changing their mind over the years what to eat and what to avoid.
But ADD/ADHD – what does that bring to the senior table?
The fun is just getting started
Not expectedly, articles on aging adult ADD/ADHD have exploded. Decades of undiagnosed ADHD in Gen X girls Inadequate Diagnosis and Treatment of ADHD After Age 60 and Telling The Difference Between Dementia and ADHD in Older Adults
What are they telling me? Looks like ADD has more surprises to come. Specifically, coping strategies that worked before won’t work now, and new symptoms may creep in. Lovely.
I fall into the undiagnosed group – that’s OK. My family’s rolling eyes have locked in any professional diagnosis I feel I need. I would consider myself mild after reading of ADHD extreme cases – you guys are superstars!
Here I was, so proud that I made it this far without pills and therapists. I imagined the generation older than me, discovering in their twilight years that they had ADD/ADHD and saying, “So? What does it matter?”. I want to be in the ‘it doesn’t matter’ group. But does it?
Seniors with ADHD experience unique and evolving symptoms that are commonly mistaken for — and overlap with — normal signs of aging.
-Additude
I had not even considered the conversation of medications. Some of them can interfere with what the aging senior is already taking. What about a lifetime of taking traditional ADHD meds, and then realizing you are becoming intolerant to them? Then there’s the cost and if insurance will pay for. So many questions.
Some seniors may encounter a misdiagnosis. Take this experience of an adult child and her elderly father, “If he didn’t take his meds, people assumed he had dementia because of his level of forgetfulness (a level which was consistent throughout his life). On meds, he could manage.” –Reddit user
Remind me to point that out to my kids.
The good news, is that there is a new generation of doctors, ones that are more familiar with ADD/ADHD treatments. I commiserate with the adult who admitted they skipped years of physicals because the doctor told them they had to lose weight. Shaming the patient doesn’t work and doctors are finally figuring that out.
What’s different in this era is that 80-year-olds have children who have children with ADD/ADHD. They have resources their aging parents never had. The adult kids are the ones posing ADD/ADHD questions to their parents. There is the World Wide Web (yeah, who calls it that anymore?}, a vast resource to connect with others caring for the elderly and aging issues.
It’a a glorious time to be old and have ADHD (a little sarcasm, there). No, seriously, the sharing of information in anonymous, safe places is very helpful. There are some pretty savvy seniors out there that can navigate and find their own information online. They or their children can participate in discussions about age-related ADD/ADHD, not being diagnosed, and medication treatments.
What really bothers me? Ageism (I’ll carry my own damn groceries, thank you very much!).
-Renee’s Rabbit Hole
Ageism in the workplace
On another note, I would like to bring up Ageism (I’ll carry my own damn groceries, thank you very much!). Ageism is prejudice against a person’s age. It’s how people treat you because they see only the old, not the contributions of an active and contributing person.
It’s this attitude that makes us crave the company of our own generation more – they get us. They also don’t treat us like we’re old.
I had a coworker who was in the throws of the feminism movement of the 70s. She was quite the activist in her day – I love her spicy attitude.
She would often mention ageism in the workplace, but I didn’t pay attention. We were equal peers, and I appreciated her talents. We worked together well and become close friends.
NOW I see where she is coming from. I still enjoy meeting with her and having the most marvelous conversations. However, I’m the elder staff now and feel someone stamped me on the forehead “OLDER THAN DIRT”.
Maybe it’s me leaning a little harder into the ranting (I do it so well). I’ve always been a loner, especially since my job doesn’t involve working on a team. It just would be nice to be asked to lunch when a group trots out the door together.
Sadly, I’ve even heard “well, your generation…” – like that counts as a counterargument. Ugh! I guess that’s on me when I lead with, “years ago…”. Touché.
I take the high road, like I always have. The satisfaction knowing that they have to come to me for help enforces that I have worth. Nine times out of 10 I will have the right answer or an out-of-the box creative solution. Wisdom in action – ADD superpowers – take that!
Conclusion
Life isn’t easy. It doesn’t change as we age, but we adapt. If you don’t have a strong and understanding support system, come back here. We’ll figure it out.
As for my neck, I’m glad I have the wrinkles a little more under control. It’s just a new phase of my life that requires new strategies – I accept that. With everything else in aging, be ready to make some changes.
#inthistogether -Renee
