Parenting with ADHD may have its challenges, but these strengths can make the journey uniquely rewarding.
Don’t be so hard on yourself. Chances are, you’re doing an amazing job and don’t even know it!
Table of Contents
Your Amazing Parenting Strengths
The article “Does Our Disorganized Brain Hurt Our Kids?” may have left you a bit down. If we had to be honest with ourselves, there are facets of our brain design that outwardly affect our kids. But don’t we all (neurotypical and neurodivergent) have things to improve on? Everybody does.
Being a parent with ADHD can bring unique joys and strengths to the table. Here are some of the positives:
- Creativity and Fun: ADHD parents often bring a playful and imaginative approach to parenting, making everyday moments more exciting for their children.
- Empathy and Understanding: Having firsthand experience with ADHD can help parents relate to their children’s struggles and offer compassionate support.
- Adaptability: ADHD parents are often flexible and open to new ideas, which can be a great asset in navigating the ups and downs of parenting.
- Hyperfocus in Emergencies: When it matters most, ADHD parents can channel their focus and energy to tackle challenges effectively.
- Enthusiasm and Energy: ADHD parents often bring a high level of enthusiasm and passion to their parenting, creating a lively and engaging environment for their kids.
I hope some of these positives resonate with you. Your kids are enjoying a fun parent who offers flexibility and love!
My ADD Parenting Journey
My journey as a parent with ADD tendancies may have been different than most, because I was a stay-at-home mom. Those women are rare these days. Due to the nature of my husband’s work, I was often on my own.
As mentioned earlier, I still did freelance work on the side, but had the flexibility to give 100% of my time to my kids.
Raising Babies
I did have a job when my first child was born before I shifted into parenthood. That was before I had any idea of the nuances of my brain type. I didn’t even look into childcare because that would have involved executive function planning. Naturally I assumed that I’d be home with my kids.
I think my parents and in-laws thought otherwise. My husband and I were not well-off by any means, but in a setting that would could make it work.
You have to remember that there was no Internet back then, so I was running with little support. I never thought twice about the choice of breastfeeding, I just did it. Feeding on demand removed all of the guesswork. I never made the connection that breastfeeding vs the commitment of pumping/bottles were two ends of the spectrum.
I am dumbfounded at the amount of equipment and rules that go into breastfeeding now. Any woman that can hold down a full-time job while breastfeeding/pumping is a GOD. There certainly was no support for it when I was a young woman.
Recently, I watched my grandbaby for a weekend and had to be responsible for the warming of breastmilk. I bought my son and daughter-in-law the Mom Cozy bottle warmer mostly for my sake.
Now I look back and think that it was God and ADD calling the shots.
-Renee’s Rabbit Hole
Thus, I was tied to the hip, so to speak, to babies for years. My kids were all spaced out five years, another unusal pattern about me. I tell people that it was all God. Now I look back and think that it was God and ADD calling the shots.
There was no way that I could have handled a baby and toddler at the same time. As far as sleep schedules went, there were none. I operated under natural rhythms instead. The kids had naps when they were tired.
I remember being absolutely unable to bear a child crying. It tore my heart out. The whole thing about letting a child cry and self-sooth didn’t happen. This is part of an integral philosphy of learning to sleep.
I am so glad that my daughter-in-law found Taking Cara Babies program. Cara gives so much support and explanation, giving young parents the confidence that they can get their kids on a sleep schedule. I just rocked the kids to sleep and then laid them down. I often would read a book to the kids and laid with them until they slept.
As far as childhood development stages, I was given hand out sheets at the doctor’s office. Luckily, my kids did not have anything out of the ordinary.
That’s why the Internet has been a game changer for parenting, to offer the support at any time day or night to figure something out. There are even encouraging apps that track milestones.
Birthing
I should speak a few words about the birthing event. The first child was very traditional in that we went to Lamaze classes. The birth went textbook perfect. I really embraced the breathing. The next child I didn’t think I had to prepare since I had made it through the first birth.
That one didn’t go so well, and my anxiety kicked in, contributing to a long birth. It was after that one that I thought I had to do something different. I remember seeing a segment on the news about HypnoBirthing. I ordered a book with a CD (an a cassette tape!)
It was fricken’ amazing! The nurses didn’t know what the heck I was doing, I was in such a zen state. When the baby started coming out, there was no one around because I wasn’t screaming my head off. The doctor made it in barely in time to catch it!
And…. no drugs involved! It’s a whole new ball game in current times. Doctors have that needle at ready. I talked my daughter-in-law into hypnobirthing, too. She, as well, had a natural birth with no drugs.
I operated under my kids’ natural rhythms.
-Renee’s Rabbit Hole
Raising Kids and Teens
Throughout childhood, I infused daily activities with creativity. To the delight of my kids, we would consume fiction novels and go on adventures outdoors. Halloween costumes were handmade, as were the couch cushion forts and 101 things to do with a cardboard box. I was constantly on the hunt for new activities and crafts.
It’s fun to tell the story of hearing about Harry Potter for the first time. I remember a news segment where the anchor was interviewing a parent and their child. They were raving about this new book that was all the rage in England.
The compelling feeling in the air was real – the guests successfully conveying the magic about the very original and unusual storyline. The words “you’ve got to read this book!” rung in my ears.
My husband and I watched this together and were immediately sold. With the urgency of books flying off the shelf impressed on us, we soon ordered our first copy. We had it in our hands, and like everyone else, devoured it.
Thus began the fun anticipation of each new release and sharing it together as a family. Other great shared series included Redwall and Deltora Quest. Now, all of my adult kids are avid readers.
One of my kids is artsy like me. When I found out about taking sketch notes and sketch doodling, we did it together. All of my kids are neat though, in their own unique way. I;m so proud of them!
You’re doing a great job already, just lean into your strengths more. Those ADD/ADHD superpowers are always there for you.
-Renee’s Rabbit Hole
My husband and I put off game systems as long as we could. Back in the day, you could buy educational CDs that you installed on your computer. That was the beginning of my IT support career, trouble-shooting those things.
My kids rarely fought, so I never had to be disciplined to discipline them. It helps when they’re five years apart, though.
Side note: I was also a Sunday school teacher for many years. It wasn’t long before I figured out how boring those Sunday school books were. I soon tossed them out in favor of original, interactive activities, to the delight of my classroom. The now adult kids still talk about my potato alters!
Grandma time
Now I’m the Grandma with the ADD brain. I drop everything when the grandkids walk in the door. I’m down on the ground playing with them. My imagination goes head to head with theirs, and the fun never stops.
Now I realize years later, how my brain is working to my grandkids’ and kids’ benefit. Since my house isn’t in full-mode parenting, I am able to come up with impromptu games and supplies to keep the fun going.
And there are dance parties, so many dance parties! My adult children know that my grandkids are in good hands and that they are not being set in front of a TV. I am forever coming up with unconventional ways to get the defiant ones to eat their vegetables.
We’re having so much fun together, everyone wants to be at Grandma and Grandpa’s house (because Grandpa gives them side-by-side rides!).
Your Turn
What kind of ADD/ADHD parent are you? Chances are, you’re an awesome parent and don’t even know it! You’re leaving your kids with a great childhood.
There is so much support for parenting these days, from apps to track milestones, to online parent support groups to troubleshoot.
You’re doing a great job already, Just lean into your strengths more. Those ADD/ADHD superpowers are always there.
#inthistogether -Renee
